Being a Mother First

Last week I caught the episode of Dr Phil teased above. Often times we picture ourselves having a loving mate once we have children; unfortunately relationships end and mom is left with bundles of joy without a mate to share that joy with. In this show a mother of two young children spent her time chasing after her ex boyfriend while neglecting her children. When a mate leaves there is an empty space in your life. You become accustomed to having that support, love and guidance. When you become a mother that urge to have someone there for you increases. I post this to remind women to not turn their backs on their children.
Your children should never suffer due to your poor decisions. They look to you for everything, so never place someone else before them. When you decide to date after you have children you must make sure of the following circumstances are met.

  1. Never place their safety at risk- When I started dating after having my first son I made sure the dates did not know where I lived or knew anything about my child.
  2. Never neglect your children- Yes, I know we all deserve to feel loved and to have the freedom to find someone who wants to be with you. Just make sure you are not spending too much of your time away from your children.
  3. Never rush into anything- If you went through a pregnancy without the father of your child you may have “family goggles” on while dating. Do not try and “replace” the missing co-parent with someone new just to feel better about yourself. You can end up with not only one broken heart, but two or more (the hearts of your now twice abandoned children).
  4. Never move your boyfriend in to your home- If marriage is not on the table, do not have them around your children.
  5. Never settle- There have been cases of women dating men with records who have ended up harming the children. Always find out the history of the person you are involved with and if  they have a shady past run.

Be proud of who you are and the children you create, show that pride by placing them first.

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Originally posted. July 20, 2013